When I was a boy, I was tending calves with the other boys, and they went to steal figs; and as they ran, one of the figs dropped, and I picked it up and ate it; and when I remember it, I sit and weep.
Often, as people become closer to God, they are increasingly aware of their own sins. Things that others would pass off as not mattering or even brag about are remembered with tears and regret.
This isn’t because these people doubt God’s grace or mercy, it’s because they don’t want to be separated from Him and they are beginning to see that even the little sins are ways we turn aside from God’s love. The little sins aren’t really little; they’re sign of a lack of something on our part.
Each of us has little stolen figs in our lives, moments when we chose to turn away instead of turning towards God.
Those moments count. Our lives might be defined by those little moments when character shows.
Lord, thank you for your mercy and love, and for the comfort they give me as I grow in the awareness of how often I turn away from you when I have the chance to draw closer.